The wild wonder
"Love is not defined by our love for God, but by his love for us! It is not our response to God that attracts his attention; we have always had his undivided affection as declared in the prophetic promise and finally demonstrated in his Son's commission and work of atonement for our sins." 1 John 4:10 (The Mirror Bible)
It is not our response that attracts God's attention; we have always had his undivided affection.
This means that you have permission to (and should) stop feeling inadequate. You have always been affectionately loved by God. Not because you're good (even though you might be good, but that is not why He loves you with all of His heart). Not because you're perfect. Not because you're better than everyone else. Not because you're successful or better at life than other people. You're affectionately loved by Him because He made you and enjoys you and roots for you every second of your existence...whether you feel it or not. He declared His love for you through Jesus. That is the biggest declaration the universe has ever known. For you. Because He has loved you before you even knew how to love Him back.
It would put a lot of controlling practitioners of religion out of business if you discovered for yourself that you don't have to earn God's love.
"We are continuously, seamlessly and very consciously present in Him and He in us." 1 John 4:13 (The Mirror Bible)
Don't be afraid of God. He will provide for your heart and for your life. No matter if you're in heaven or hell or anywhere in between - He has time for you and will sit with you where you are in order to bring you to life through His tender, genuine love.